No, nope, sorry. You will not get me to care about another controversy with the New England Patriots involving fully-inflated footballs. You won’t do it. It’s impossible this time. (Note: I didn’t even care about it in the first place.)

Why? Because the Patriots stink, folks.

You might recall that when “Deflategate” happened, the Patriots were at the top of the NFL world. They had the best quarterback and coach in the sport, and the controversy occurred after an AFC title game win over the Indianapolis Colts. For as much of an unnecessary circus as that situation was, you could at least justify it based on the gravity of the Patriots’ massive victory.

This time around, in 2023, the Patriots are awful. They’re 3-11. They will likely be drafting one of Caleb Williams or Drake Maye in April as Bill Belichick probably rides off into the sunset after the season.

So, even if Mark Daniels of MassLive is telling me the Patriots may have had poorly inflated footballs against the Kansas City Chiefs last Sunday (in a matchup they lost by 10 points), all I can think about is how irrelevant it is. Also, it’s not even clear that the Patriots were the ones responsible!

(On either occasion):

Call it Deflategate, Part II.

According to multiple sources, NFL officials didn’t properly inflate the kicking balls at Gillette Stadium before Patriots matchup vs. the Chiefs.

Read more here: https://t.co/JcaNs4CodT

— Mark Daniels (@ByMarkDaniels) December 20, 2023

Plus, Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker and Patriots kicker Chad Ryland both missed kicks. It seemingly had zero tangible impact on the game other than probably making Patrick Mahomes a little uncomfortable as he cruised to over 300 yards passing in a victory with the NFL’s worst receiving corps.

So happened to be the game where Harrison Butker missed his first kick of the season. #Chiefskingdom https://t.co/gynCil0iF2

— Alex Gold (@AlexGold) December 20, 2023

“A source said the Patriots rookie’s mechanics were good on the attempt, but the flight of the ball was off.”

Here’s the Chad Ryland kick in question: https://t.co/alS6VxvC3Y pic.twitter.com/PPc66j4AMh

— Chris Mason (@ByChrisMason) December 20, 2023

The Patriots are no longer the NFL’s lead protagonist. They are riding out the string of a bygone era that will soon reach the finish line. Forgive me if my main takeaway from this is that it seems like Belichick may have wanted to play the hits one last time.